Substance Abuse Impacts Us All

My brother died on April 12th, 2020 from chronic liver failure brought on by chronic alcoholism. He was just an all-around great guy that had a large close-knit family and an extremely close group of friends that he loved dearly and they love him. He was a gentle-natured man that people gravitated towards. He was a very intelligent man. He was a kind and loving man. He also had his demons, losing a father and a child in the same year was something he could never get over. I guess at first he was like most alcoholics, going out with the guys, having a few beers. Through the years it became very apparent that he took his drinking to a different level to deal with the pain that none of us really understood. There were the interventions, stints at rehab, small periods of not drinking but nothing stuck. Through our many conversations, he always stated he can “figure it out”. I was not the only one urging him to get help, there many conversations by concerned people. I think we all knew he was never really serious when he said he wanted to quit drinking, but as we all know, the alcoholic has to want to quit before it will happen. A couple of weeks before he died, we had a conversation where he stated he wants all the pain to go away and really wants to get help. This is the first time I really believed him. Unfortunately, it was a little too late as his physical addiction to alcohol had started shutting down his liver and other organs, catching pneumonia because of his weakened condition did not help.

So for the point of this story! If friends and family have concerns about your drinking, please listen to them, they are doing this because they love you. If they have been talking to you for years asking you to get help, please take a step back and honestly evaluate your life. We all thought he had to hit rock bottom, then
things would happen. Well, that never happened, he never got to the point that shook him so bad that he would have an epiphany.

 

So one thing I do know is that if you are physically addicted to alcohol and your liver is damaged, and you don’t stop drinking -YOU WILL DIE FROM IT! And it won't be a particularly pleasant death. My brother spent 3 weeks in ICU and special care units while going through this before he passed away. 

When your liver goes it takes other organs with it, which appeared to not be a pleasant experience. You will be poked and prodded at all times of the day and night. You will turn yellow, when your kidneys decide to stop working you will need dialysis. Then on top of all that, your blood gases will be elevated and you will be in a constant state of confusion. Your last conversations with your family will be nonsensical because they won't understand you. Sure, there will be fragments of a sentence they may understand, but nothing meaningful leaving you frustrated for things left unsaid. Then you die, I pray for you that it is a peaceful death because that certainly does not always seem to be the case. At this point, you have just left behind devastated parents, children, siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, and friends asking what we could have done differently. That's a question I really believe will haunt me and the above-mentioned people for the rest of our lives. This writing is not meant as an anti-alcohol campaign, rather our hope is that someone will read it and make them think. If my friends and family can spare another person's friends and family from the same pain we are going through, it will make putting this out there worthwhile.